Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Out on a limb
I have a trip planned for this Thursday night to San Francisco. I will be attending my uncle's funeral. I am going by myself and don't know if I will be able to attend a meeting. Just two days away. I have been without a meeting for longer than that at home. Somehow this feels different. I want to be there to pay my respects but I am really afraid of how much of my mother's passing is going to come up in me. I know that all of my pain is just under the surface since I delt with it by getting numb a year and a half ago. I have one cousin who is in recovery and his sobriety is without the steps. I have another cousin who is dry and stong enough to get there on her own. I have been attending meetings, praying, talking to other alcoholics but I find myself very restless, irritable and discontent. My sponsor is a very busy man and I don't like to bother him. Maybe it is time for a call?
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4 comments:
My sponsees don't like to "bother" me, either! Ha! -grin- You know what I think of THAT? (The same thing your sponsor thinks of that!) I BET!
Seems to me there is one of US living in San Francisco, don't recall who that is right now. Ask around in comments.
Ask God, or Higher Power to help also. That's ALWAYS a good "last resort". Yeah, RIGHT! (Last!)
I can understand how you feel and it sounds like you are doing something that is right for you.
I hope the experience will be a respetful learning one.Wishing you serenity ~ Thanks for sharing.
ps.I lost my Mom five years ago and that grief is never ever far from each of my days-so I use it as a reminder that she is still close to my heart as I live on without her in my living world.
{{Just wanted to share that with ya..I can relate to your grief}}
Sometimes when you go out on a limb you touch someone's life....I am deeply grateful for a visit by Tony Fishstyx. I stopped believing in Santa, which does not bode well for a first grade teacher. However, Santa has been resurrected for me with the gift of a 5 month token from my Cousin Tony. Your visit Tony, has strengthened my quest for the magic in sobriety. Like you, I was missing the magical moments of my kids. Everyday is a struggle as I try to learn my place in this world without being numb and dumb.
Thank you for easing that struggle. I do hope the spirit of Santa will visit your home this Christmas.
God bless,
Cousin Chris
P.S. My chip will hang on my rear view mirror as a shield of armor.
Trust God and clean house. Call anyone you think might help. Self pity is pride in reverse. Do not let it overpower you awesome ability to be a friend and be befriended. You have so much to offer friend, do not be afraid of it! LU J.
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