How I got here pt.4

Final stretch, hang in there with me. The final chapter of my drinking starts with my mom's passing, March 8th 2007. Even though I was raised with a large extended family my mom was my only world. Her death has been the most painful thing I may ever know. In true alcoholic form I dealt with it in a bottle as often as I could. To boot I couldn't sleep so I was drinking bottles of NyQuil to conk out. Expectantly, holidays have been especially hard. Thanksgiving '07 I cooked for friends, cried and drank drank drank. Her birthday Dec. 4th '07 I cried and drank over it because nobody seamed to care she would have been 63. Christmas '07 I tried to hold on until we were visited by some neighbors. I started drinking with them and I don't remember how the night ended up. The next day my wife told me my oldest daughter tried to kiss me goodnight but she couldn't understand what I was saying. "Why is dad talking so funny?", she asked. My wife told me she couldn't keep doing this anymore. I was humbled and humiliated. My wife didn't yell at me or seem to get mad, just sad. Maybe she knew how good I was at doing it to myself. I never had a dad and have always wanted to be the best one in the world because of that. Now look what I had done. Upon learning this my therapist suggested I join the ranks of AA or visit her 3 times a week. Looking for the easier softer way(HA!) I called central office and got 12 stepped by a total stranger. He took me to my 1st meeting, and as nervous as I was, the moment I said, "My name is Tony and I'm an Alcoholic", I felt a wash come over me. I finally had hope this life might actually end up being o.k. It was a comfort I only remember as a child in my mother's arms. I probably was right then. That was a little over 11 months ago. I know it is supposed to be one day at a time but I'm getting a little excited for the day after Christmas when I get my 1 year chip and start breaking my old record 24 hrs at a time.
Whew! That felt good to get out.
Thanks
Tony Fishstyx