Monday, April 6, 2009
Just wanted to share a cool God shot that happened for me with regards to my last post and my job situation. As I was praying and complaining about my ego being hurt and not getting the raise I felt I deserved, one of my sponsors sponsor called me. I guess you could call him my grandsponsor. He was having a similar situation with work too! I was talking about how my job was so easy for me and I could do it with one lobe tied behind my back. Maybe it was time for me to look for another job with more responsibility and more pay etc. He then pointed out to me that I was reaching a point in my program where new guys were going to be drawn to me to be their sponsor. A good paying job that didn't require tons of my time and mental energy might be just the thing I needed in order to do His work. I had just been blessed by being asked to sponsor one guy already and an old friend who is trying to get sober has asked me for help.
Then I wrote my Cutler post about surrendering my job situation and just waited and prayed. Next morning at meeting it happened. I was approached by another new guy who asked me to sponsor him. He's been around a couple of months so I assumed he was already working with some of the great sobriety gurus of my home group. He listed off several older and wiser members of my home group that were also in the running but he decided on me. I was humbled to be mentioned in the same breath with my morning Zen masters. My first sponsee did this too!
Now I'm excited and anxious with two fish on the line. Not much time to worry about trivial things like raises and promotions all of a sudden. Out here in Colorado if you want to fish with two poles you need to pay extra and get a stamp on your licence. Trouble is when the fish are biting you can have two poles going at once. Which one do I reel first? How do I keep the lines from getting crossed and tangled. Which bait was I using on which hook? AAAAGGGGHHHHH! What a great problem to have. So here I sit after praying about my job and God handed me a mission if I choose to accept it. I think I will before I self destruct. Now I have to be cautious because as an alcoholic I always over indulge. Last thing I need right now is to become the octosponsor.:) Any suggestions about sponsoring multiples out there would be greatly appreciated.
One Fish Two Fish
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Well if this whole Cutler drama hasn't shown me the result of ego I don't know what would. Stupid as it may sound, I had to 4th step this scenario. Out of the gate I was down right mad at this budding young star for not accepting what his coach was trying to accomplish for the betterment of the team. I felt I had perfect right to since I'm a season ticket holder. "That little punk is gonna screw up my Broncos! Where does he come off with this temper tantrum? This brat thinks he is bigger than the team and better than Elway!", I have been saying like it was as important as food and air. In shock about my behavior my better half said something I have heard before but conveniently forgot in this case. "Often what we don't like in others is really what we don't like about ourselves", she said. AAAAAGGGGGHHHH, now I was really mad! Dudes don't like it when their wives are right, especially about football. But there it was, like it or not.
My mind was brought to two things about my own life which ashamedly I have to admit are a bit Cutleresque. First, my job has had me in a resentful funk lately. We just had our reviews and all my superiors could say was wow, great, terrific, excellent and model employee. BUT......in light of the current economic climate we are having to go with an across the board pay freeze. POW right in the ego! I told them, "Don't claim salary woes when we all know how much dead weight exists around the office." "Cut them and pay your stars before you loose them", I told the personnel director. Oddly, that didn't get me the raise I felt I deserved. My ego actually began to suggest that others misfortune is what I needed to feel valuable to my company. Now, I feel sick when I think about how they would feel to loose their income in this economy. The company may need to do it anyway irregardless of what I said.
Second, I have spread this discontent and whining around my home group. I am wrongly justified by the search for answers as to why I am so unfairly treated. Just like the rest of the country, we have members of the fellowship who are under and unemployed. With my feelings about multi millionaire Cutler I can only imagine how much resentment I have generated amongst the characters I call my new family. After these ego shots I know that there is a way out and that way is service. So, I've signed up to volunteer for a local charity that could use my culinary skills to help feed families who have fallen on harder times than not getting their raise.