Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sober St. Patrick's day #2

No great wisdom to share here but I just wanted to tell about a miracle. This alcoholic mic has just went through another St.Patrick's day clean. I actually went to the pub and laughed with my friends. I went there with another one of OUR friends rcali4233. The obsession of the drink was not there but it was nice to be there with another sober alcoholic. Strength in numbers. Thanks RC.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Fishstyx: Sober St. Patrick's Day Servie To Others

Fishstyx: Sober St. Patrick's Day Servie To Othershttp://www.stbaldricks.org/home/referral.php?Ref=L3BhcnRpY2lwYW50cy9zaGF2ZWVfaW5mby5waHA/UGFydGljaXBhbnRLZXk9MjAwOS0zMzQ3NDY=

Sober St. Patrick's Day Servie To Others

This is my big hair I've been growing since last St.Patrick's Day. Why post this Nick Nolte like mugshot of myself? I am just getting the word out about a fundraiser I'm doing called St.Baldrick's Foundation. I have been doing this event for 3 years in honor of my mom who loved kids and died from cancer. Participants raise awareness and money for children's cancer by shaving their head. In my drinking years I showed off my Irish heritage on St. Patrick's by getting insanely drunk. In fact, one year I thought it would be a good idea to mix it up with my best friend. The result was a broken wrist and a friendship that is still mending. Last year marked my first sober St. Patrick's Day and my bald dome was a much more fulfilling expression of my Irish roots. If you are so inclined to help me with a TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation please visit the link below. Mostly, please include the afflicted children and families in your prayers. I am thankful each day that my children's health is not a worry for me.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Why Can't Sobriety Be Like The Matrix?

I asked my sponsor today why can't my sobriety be like The Matrix? I am frustrated right now because I have a ton of willingness and desire to have emotional sobriety but no idea how to get it. As a child of the rapid information transmission age I am quite impatient for the changes I think I need and want. In The Matrix, our young hero Neo would find himself in a jam and just call up for a program to be downloaded into him. He would just sit there and twitch as he was programed with helicopter pilot instructions, kung fu and any skill he felt was lacking at the moment. If he wanted I'll bet he could have become more musically gifted than Mozart. I think of this and pray, "God just get in my brain and fix it so I can be happy, helpful and useful for all the loved ones in my life." Want to know what the problem with that is? I'm not a computer. I'm a human that was made just the way He wants me. My brain may be computer like but I have been given a soul which learns through real life experience and contact with God. A computer can display images of beautiful scenery, but it never smiles and weeps over the pure beauty of a sunset on the Rocky Mountains. A computer can describe how the game of soccer is played or show diagrams of the perfect softball swing. But that computer will never feel the exhilaration and joy as my little girl puts the ball in the back of the net or makes effortless contact between bat and ball. A computer can go to utube and show a reel of Swan Lake, but it would never have a single tear as my baby girl beams and prances about in her tutu. A computer can help you find a date on match.com, but it can never feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach as you lock eyes with your soul mate from across the room for the first time. A computer can help you write and find the right words to say for a eulogy. However, it definitely can not publicly display the emotion of pain for a lost mother. To have these wonderful gifts one must be human. Slower processes but infinitely greater gifts. Today and every day I need to pray for the patience required to learn in God's time and on his terms.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Outward expression of an inward desire

This is my new tattoo! It says, "We will not regret the past nor whish to shut the door on it."p.83BB The reason I chose this phrase and symbol is because the circle/triangle is exactly the same as my fraternity in college. Some of my most storied drunkalogs took place at this time. When first starting AA I really regreted those lost years. Now I am thankful for them because it has put me in a unique position to 12 step two of my fraternity brothers(and hopefully more). Also, it turns out my new sponsee went to college with me but we never knew it. All of it has allowed me to be of service in His plan. The results of that have been far greater than any I have tried to direct all on my own.
Your greatful drunk frat boy,